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Reliving छब्बीस जनवरी

Happy Republic Day. Enjoyed a wonderful morning today at college, all the National Events tend to be extremely pleasing events, and as I felt today if it was not for them, we would completely disconnect from our cultural heritage.

As a kid Republic Day (and even 15th August) used to be super fun. It started a week or 10 days before the D-Day. As a kid and even now I wasn't that performance inclined. So as always I formed the chunk of the neglected extras on the day forming the part of MARCH PAST :). The superstars always were part of some dance, or group song. ( I was part of group song once, last row, because they wanted few guys who were tall in the last row, so far from mic, that no one can hear us. As a chotu child Group songs were occasions when our faced were smashed with Red Colored Circles, and thumb sucking kids we were used to running around on stage with nursery teachers chasing us :)).

March Past practice was fun too, forming queues, using cliched phrases like arre one-arm distance lo na, Physical Education Teacher finding center stage apart from his usual student-thrashing activities etc. etc. Girls who were part of the March Past were a depressed lot too, because most of them anyways were part of dance, the girls who were not, were thoda sort of Tom-Boyish types as people said that time. Then there was the yatra-tatra-sarvatra drummer who was omnipresent during all practices of all kinds. Be it the regular march past routine, morning assemblies, tabla in annual function, any other instrument for annual function. He was the Music Teacher's favorite and was groomed to be a Music Teacher in future, sadly ending as another engineer among us millions :). BTW this March Past was for commoners, the Scouts and Guides were the Elite class, we were just filler items.

The D-Day used to start with Flag hoisting in school with Vande Mataram and ending with Jan Gana Man. Mostly students associated with the main event came to school (yes there was a lot beyond that, not even a part of the march past :)). We got an extra packet of the same goodie kit which we received a day prior to 26th Jan too (distributed among all township schools). Kit consisted of 1 Classic Parle -G (the then 100gm 4rs. to the now 82gm 4Rs.), Poppins (the then Rs.125, not to be found much nowdays, there is another interesting story about Poppins, but sometime later for that), couple of candies/lollipops and even dairy milk at times (used to change every year). Then we sat in a bus and moved to the main ground.

All the township gathered on the Man Sarovar ground, the battleground of our numerous Cricket battles, fistfights, once visited by the great Narendra Hirwani and Sandeep Patil :). The ground was always full on these 2 national holidays and it was great fun to be part of the festive atmosphere.

Most of the attention was always grabbed by Dance performances from across schools, award winners etc etc. The most depressing lot was always that of the March Past gang, who started the proceedings and then stood there for an hour till everyone danced, sang and received prizes. Whatever we did, we stood, got tired etc etc., but we never broke the one arm distance :).

After so many years छब्बीस जनवरी still evokes emotions, but not of that strength. But I am happy these things keep country's culture running for a few more days before the roadie kind of people swallow it up completely.

Also would like to remember the ones who lost their lives on 26th Jan'01 in the Gujarat quake, may their souls rest peacefully in heaven.

Posted by desh 11:46 PM 2 comments  

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Learnings from MBA- Part I

The best thoughts hit when you are sitting on the toilet seat. Suddenly realized how much disconnected from the world I have become sitting there today. Many people whom I talked are nowhere to be found to nowadays. Have missed one friend's wedding, going to miss 2 more soon. Lots has changed, MBA has changed a lot. Just to summarize the learnings from the 18 odd months till now,

- Acads, well remember a bit of Business Strategy, Consult is still fresh, a bit of marketing fundas which have been repeated enough number of times, few of the Finance ka fundas, thats mostly it. Haan, liked supply chain and a couple of visiting faculties too, but thats it.

- Ability to take Stress, or the non-ability to take it. It actually depends on you that how much you set your limits as. I set it very high, to levels which I cant take, and it shows. Its difficult, and you know that you cant take anymore. But just 2-3 months to go...

- Anger Management or the lack of it: For a person who claimed to be Anger Free since Two Thousand Three ( 2-3 instances) the worst part is to abuse daily and shout at other people which is like a ritual to me nowadays

- Networking they said happens in MBA, honestly all your old pals, relatives etc. stop talking to you given the lack of interest you show in them, so its just you and you forever after that

- Sense, or lack of it missing in the Top .01% of the country sitting along with you for 2 years. What else should I tell...

Would be putting down a few more during my final days here. If its going to be like this in work post MBA too, either I would retire in 2-3 years. Or even sooner.

People planning for MBA, dont do it, kills your life.

Posted by desh 10:22 AM 10 comments  

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भेडचाल

बदलाव हमारे अन्दर होता है। बदलाव निरंतर है और उससे रोकने का शायद ही को कोई उपाय होगा। पर क्या मैं बदलना चाहूँगा?

कुछ वर्षो पहले तक मुझे कुछ पता नही था की मैं जीवन मैं क्या करना चाहता हूँ, और आज भी मेरे विचार कुछ स्पष्ट नही हुए है। काम करना क्या केवल एक मजबूरी है, या इसमे कोई आर्थिक लाभों के अलावा लाभ है, ऐसे प्रश्न मेरे दिमाग मैं कुछ दिनों से आ रहे है। काम काजी जीवन जैसे जैसे नज़दीक आ रहा है, वैसे ही मैं थोड़ा उससे घबरा भी रहा हूँ।

प्रबंधन का अध्यन भारत मैं कई छात्रों का सपना है, क्योंकि इसमे पैसे अच्छे है और यह आजकल की नई भेडचाल है। पर मेरा अनुभव कह रहा है की आप जिस अवस्था मैं प्रसन्न रहे, वही अच्छी नौकरी है। प्रबन्धन के पश्चात् आपको इतनी म्हणत करनी होगी की वैसे भी आप ४० की उम्र के बाद कुछ करने के योग्य नही रहेंगे।

तो क्या मुझे चाहिए,

अच्छी नौकरी, अच्छी तनख्वाह और एक बड़ा नाम
या फ़िर कुछ अच्छे लोग, कम चिंता वाला काम, और ठीक ठाक तनख्वाह

फिलहाल तो मैं हमेशा की तरग इस असमंजस मैं हूँ की मैं क्या करू, मेरे आजू बाजू हर कोई जरुरत से ज्यादा एकाग्रित है, सबको साबुन तेल बेचना, बेंको मैं जाना, और संगणक उद्योग मैं अपना जीवन बिताना है। मुझे इन सब से कोई लेना देना नही, मुझे कुछ भी चलेगा। पर मेरे लिए सबसे जरुरी चीज़े है,

मेरे आस पास के लोग, एक अच्छा वातावरण, और निश्चित आराम और अन्य रुचिया पूर्ण करना।

पर मुझे फ़िर लगता है कीजीवन मैंने आजतक उस चीज़ को नही चुना जिससे मैं चुनना चाहता था, बलकी उन बातो के पीछे ज्यादा रहा जो भेडचाल का हिस्सा थी।

यह सब बस कुछ विचार है जो चले जायेंगे, मैं फ़िर इन किताबो और अजीबो गरीब काम के चक्कर मैं डूब जाऊँगा, और रह जायेगी यह भेडचाल, जिसका मैं सदेव हिस्सा रहूँगा।

Posted by desh 12:27 PM 4 comments  

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खेल,इन्टरनेट और हम

कुछ बाराह साल का था मैं, जब मैंने पहली बार भगवान् को देखा, वो नीले रंग का मुकुट पहेनता था अपने घुंघराले बालो के ऊपर, और एक भारी लकड़ी की गदा थी उसके पास, और अपने चमत्कार से वोह दुनिया के सबसे महान गेंदबाजों का नाश कर रहा था. उस साल था विश्व कप के उपलक्ष पर उसने दौड़ो की झड़ी लगा दी थी, और शेन वारने नमक गेंदबाज़ को तो उस महान ने नेस्तनाबूद ही कर दिया था.

पर फिर वोह दिन भी आया, जब कलकत्ता की रणभूमि पर ९१/२ के स्कोर पर वोह आउट हुआ, और उसके बाद कलकत्ता की जनता ने उस देवता के अभाव मैं मैदान को भस्म कर दिया, लोग कहते है वोह शिवजी का दुःख था की उस नन्हे भगवान् के आउट होने पर उन्होंने उस दिन कलकत्ता पर आग बरसाई. पर उस रात मैं सो नहीं पाया, और उन आँखों मैं कही कुछ पानी की बूँदें ज़रूर थी.

१९९६ का वोह साल और मायनों मैं भी ऐतिहासिक था, जब इन्टरनेट नामक तकनीक मेरी दुनिया मैं आई. एक घर्र्र घर्र करते संगणक के सामने बैठ कर आप दुनिया मैं कही भी चिट्ठी लिख सकते थे. हॉट मेल , याहू, और मेरे आज के नाम से जुडी एक पोर्टल काफी प्रसिद्ध हुए.

पर मुझे क्या पता था, की कुछ १० सालो बाद, इन्टरनेट के जरिये मैं उन महान खेल के क्षणों को संभाल के रख पाऊंगा, जिनका इतिहास मैं कोई सानी नहीं, और जो मेरे दिल के बेहद करीब रहेंगे. इसी का प्रयास करते हुए हम कुछ मित्रो ने मिल कर "पेन द गेम" की स्थापना की. इसके पहले ही वर्ष मैं इसने indibloggies पुरस्कार समारोह मैं भारत के सबसे बेहतरीन खेल ब्लॉग होने का गौरव प्राप्त किया.

इस वर्ष भी हम इस सम्मान के लिए नामांकित हुए है, कृपया इन संदेशो का पलान करे, और हमें विजयी बनाने मैं मदद करे..

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जय सचिन,
आपका प्रिय

देसी

Posted by desh 12:42 AM 0 comments  

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A Night at Lodhivali

Where the hell is everyone? I can’t find anyone today. Alone in room, no Khaut, no Sagun & Saachi. All gayab!!!

Living with all 3 has been awesome, I have had great time with them over the past month. The highlight have been the sex education classes we conduct once in a while for Sagun, super fun. Plus me, khaut, shotu have got access recently to this amazing library of Hindi Erotica which is helping us in our mission to get Sagun upto sexually acceptable standards prevailing in modern times.

Also Shotu has created this alias Jenny73153, Yahoo ID which we all use for chatting like a female, awesome fun with people calling a number XXX73513 and then Jiri picking up and acting like an escort service agent. Well enough of this.

I think I should look in Pure Bhaiya’s room, one of my best buds in the senior batch. Awesomely brained & very hard working, I have real fun with him at times and he is a nice happy shappy types fellow. Cares for me & Sajeev a lot. I miss Sajeev though, quite some time since I experienced his histrionics, his would be a tale of simple boy going not so simple thanks to Sex (not the verb, but a proper noun, yes someone in flesh & blood, actually too much of flesh).

Oh even Pure Bhai is out, where the hell is everyone, being late from office doesn’t mean you miss the action. I think they should be in our township mess.

Trying to bring a revolution in Speech Technology, back in those days it was considered biggest thing after Graham Bell’s own invention, Voice Recognition and that too for so many regional languages. Daily office work included recordings, creating fancy scripts with JeDi, gaming & life lessons from dhavesh & his wonderful encounters with Bhakti our ex Mtech student. On top of it you had a bell labs return white shirted, steamy idli eating leader & a budding love story of geeky-techie IITian with a lady in office (who looked slightly older than him). The boss was a delightful idli-popping guy with super crisp white shirts (always) with changing trouser colours, accompanied by a recent Swiss import.

Also featuring were a few other teams BREWing mobile apps, Voice apps team back in college & a traffic signal team famous for doing mostly nothing. That team consisted of a brainy happy & a geeky chunnu mobile.

Walking down towards the mess I found chunnu sinking into his super cool blue displayed handset. Mobiles are a new thing, I have one from Siemens & it’s a rare thing to caryy one. But chunnu thinks in a few days everyone would carry this, I don’t think more than 10% of population would ever have it. Just now in May TRAI removed the incoming charges & at max it would let them sell a few more. This is a fad like many others.

I reach the mess and the first thing I see is a somewhat odd looking BPS sitting with Methi on the roadside. BPS is not regular today, with his long hair messed up and his fingers waving, he looks….drunk.

Are they all DRUNK???

BPS calls me as he is towards finishing his awesome lecture to Methi (lectured only first & last time in his life on this date) on the topic of “Ladki %$%$% hoti hai”, also walking at a close distance were a few females. Well I would leave them out of this story.

So BPS told me how I should stay away from girls and never get into them (I have strictly followed him after that J) and I could smell it. For the first time in almost 2 years I saw one of my friend’s in a drunk avasthta & it felt a bit funny. Well being in a dry state had resulted in a very different engineering college where students got a high from installing/uninstalling Linux, downloading movies & playing all types of games.

Off I moved to the TT table. On the stairs I met this bearded guy who said high, wonder what he does here, he always stands here, doesn’t look like the chaukidaar but his beard looks irritating. Few of us ended up having a discussion on the possibility of him being gay & maybe even hitting on one of our “HEALTHY” friend.

TT table was witnessing an amazing game of TT between (I don’t know who), but the spectator/referee was Pappa, his wavy hair sitting on top of a very brainy brain. But that day the brain had gone on hadtaal as he waved his mundi from side to side & kept on doing it continuously for indefinite time. When I approached to have a conversation he just sshhhed me away.

I met Sacchi in mess & he told me about the party thrown by Pure Bhai for some reason. It seems lot of everything had been drunk & everyone was waving around. And then I met khaut…

He shouted & became normal just the next moment. He asked me to play carom. The small boy who served us food in mess came to us and Khaut all of a sudden slapped him… “Ladkiyo ko pahle khaana deta hai, humein nahi “

Small boy stunned & I was in a don’t know what to do state. So I just walked away from there. Later that night I had the scary task of walking back Khaut to our room.

As I prepared my bed I thought, well I will never touch alcohol.

Omitted a few incidents, changed a few names, all for fun. By the way I broke the pledge sometime in the summer of 2005, had a White Mischief with Shotu & co. at Mt. Abu, then waited till Bangalore & CAT incidents to let hell break loose. But this was my first true interaction with the concept of getting drunk. All thanks to Lodhivali J

Posted by desh 1:27 PM 3 comments  

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Yellow

All characters in this story are fictional and bear no resemblance to anyone dead or living

2005

After the great Mumbai floods engineers were repairing the sewer system of the city, an engineer mistakenly planted dynamite on one of the lines, the blast was big, and it released crores of tonnes of pure Golden shit on one of the suburbs of mumbai. To check the devestation all the shit was diverted to a large 25000 acre area designated for a SEZ soon. Area sinked, and it definitely stinked.

In that plot was hidden long back, a treasure of immense value, all of it pure gold.

Present Day

Bhairav is the coolest rag picker in the town of Mumbai, has two of everything, but misses the essential thing which should exist in pair. Apprently his boxing buddy, Langdu Sethji with manly boobs and a raunchy paunch kicked him in his gehnas once. From that day, Bhairav yearns for everything in pairs.

Langdu and Bhairav are the best rag pickers in town, but Langdu can swim saala, and that too in shit. Bhairav wants to go for treasure in the shit laden area, but Langdu says no.

Langdu's wife munni is an expert in picking rag underpants, which she even tries on herself at times. she is hot though and even Bhairav has the hots for her ;). Munni says she is poor (thats why lesser clothes) & wants to be rich & start a Safai Vidyalaya on the lines of one by Baapu at Ahmedadbad.

Cut Scene- Andheri

Langdu's brother is the top begger in Andheri, popularly known as Spam he also rides in a haathgaadi (Shaan movie's Mazhar Khan style). At night he takes part in an underground haathgaadi drifitng race. Haathgaadi race expert Don Karnash challenges him in front of his hot eucuch friend chikki. Chikki drops her pallu for the race to begin, and Spam wins it. Don Karnash asks spam to deliver a box for him which he misplaces. In between he falls in love with Chikki. Don Karnash him for life and even burns is haathgaadi. Spam hitchhikes and reaches the boundaries of Shithole where Munni, Bhairav & Langdu are waiting...

(I am cutting on the hit song, Haggi Waggi, by Chilly Min-Hug and few other songs...)

These guys hang out near the shit pond, singing Balluuuu, yeh saans pukaare, Baluuu...

and all of a sudden appears Balu, along with Madam Ritika Mahalingam and Kid Cloud waala. Punter and Dolly are not seen though.

It seems Balu is a dushman of Don Karnash & wants him badly. In the mean time Langdu developes a liking for Madam Mahalingam, much to the distaste of munni, who starts wearing even dirtier and smaller rags to catch his attention.

Climax

Don Karnash wants money from spam for loosing his box of whatever, 50 Mn Zimbabwean Dollars. As Spam and others are unaware about the latest currency rates they get scared and plan to go for the treasure. Balu has a seaplane which can carry them to shitpond and Langdu knows the location. It seems his dad almost reached the treasure. When he tells the story Kid Cloudwaala realises that he is Langdu & spam's brother who got lost on the day of floods.

But Langdu has a secret to share.

It seems their dad was off to find some treasure and he found it somewhere in the mid of shit pond, but Langdu was having loosemotions that day, and he used to the pond to do you know what. The level started rising and his dad lost control and sunk and died. Langdu is scared of that place.

But he is convinced and Balu drops him using his seaplane to the location. Here they put the anchor, Madam Mahalingam & Munni cook food and the guys go for treasure hunting.

Shit main tairne ke teen golden rule,

- Never breath
- Hamesha Saath main raho
- Never shit...otherwise, you know what can happen

They find the treasure, but Don Karnash comes and as usual grabs the heroines. Then they come out of rooms and the dress area of their arms is removed (remember the old movies, what this signified, confused me ). Anyways heros have found the treasure now (100 20 KG toilets made of solid gold), but Balu starts breathing and dies of the smell, being heavy he sinks too. The others float back, fight and rescue heriones. Bhairav is found missing.

Don Karnash tells everyone that he and Bhairav planned this and now he would kill everyone. Bhairav comes up and tells that he fooled everyone because Langdu being color blind too was the only one who could have spotted Yellow in Yellow. so he picked him and made a fool of him. He runs away and kills Don Karnash on the way by flushing him in the pond.

Madam Mahalingam uses the seaplane to go away and other live happily, but one day Bhairav calls and tells them that he has progressed from being a rag picker to India's largest toilet manufacturer, all Yellow in color. And Chikki is his wife or something.

**The End**

Request: Dont watch Blue, please

Posted by desh 1:41 PM 3 comments  

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मदन - कहानी एक Pub की

***Starring ***

Chipu
( I have decided to write a book on the life and times of this guy)
Rattu
Bhussu


***And***

Dandit
Mimpy
Bho-Bho-ti
Pat-rick
Nippu


***Friendly Appearance***

KAddu
Piddu
Anit Pacob Jillpose
Khakre



***Scene-1 ***

Somewhere on quite nice crowded street on Bangalore (crowd is implicit in Bangalore), ambling around are three stupid looking individuals, quite visibly mistaking the road as a Bird Sanctuary. ( For people in Bangalore I am referring the set of perpendicular roads connecting from Jyoti Nivas College-Koramangala 4th Block side to Forum-100ft road connection).

But enough of birds, these guys have never got them, one of them although carries the distinction of breaking eggs :), lot of them :D. Who's interested, Chipu, Rattu and Bhussu just want some beer, and they will get it at Madan Pub. Small shabby looking place where evil ideas thrive, men with rotten faces, dirty lungis and unbrushed moustaches laugh like Ashok Vatika Sita Kidnappers, light is dim, TV always throws a classic Rajkumar Classic (the same one always where he plays a Rajkumar) and waiters serve with uncut nails filled with smudge..yuk

But beer is cheap and thats Ok, for us :)

This place was discovered by Fake Kannada speaking Bho-Bho-ti, patronised by the wide assed king of bangalore, Pat-Rick & made popular by rattu. Anit Pacob Jillpose lived in Pune but he dreamt of going to madan, and Khakre cracked up as we muttered him stories of Madan.

Madan Rocks, no... Madan Mahaan hai :)

In an area full of beautiful chiks and chikkis, this is the place, where Men can be Men, and not those spiked hairs, loose jeans, jockey showing lean kids, they can hold their drink with pride and drink and bask in the glory of the super dim lights which make you look, evil.

I dont remember whether Mimpy visited it, but this is a place liked by 3 of us who came here tonight, me, Bhussu, Chipu. Bhussu loves drinking, and following it up with Hyderabadi Biryani, Drinking loves Chipu, and will always love him. As for me, I can walk downstairs to pick up Mysore Pak off Adayar anand bhavan :)

But as Mimpy says, yeh ek Mahaan jagah hai, so ashtumaadi

Kahani starts when Nippu comes to Bangalore... till then wait maadi

Posted by desh 7:40 AM 6 comments  

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